Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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