you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
