Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
