i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
