People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
