She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
