This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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