I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
