Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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