Too much gin, very little bucket
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Shame - the story of my life.
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