How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you never un-have a 4some
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
