This girl is more easily done than said...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
