as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
