so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize