Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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