Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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