I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
