the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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