Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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