she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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