I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
