What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
