i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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