who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I deserve to be covered in dicks
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize