Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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