the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
