i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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