I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
