this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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