Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
