i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
