I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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