Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
