garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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