ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
