my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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