I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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