So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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