I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
