fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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