dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
