ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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