guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
