the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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