they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
