Sorry, I don't speak sober.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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