Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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