My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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