so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
