the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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