So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
