i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize