We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
