You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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