She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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