He kissed a someone with a penis
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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