is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
