the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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