...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
