Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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